Joy and Sorrow

Last night I got a message from my eldest sister DB. She was letting me know that my eldest niece (39) had just received results from her CT scan and was cancer free, finally. She survived breast cancer at 32, and it returned as metastatic breast...

Sadness

There was a time in my life when I thought that every single thing that happened in the world could be reasoned out. Misunderstood things could be made clear with just the right conversation. That it just took time for other people to see your side of...

It's raining...again.

It's been raining off and on for days now. Not that I am complaining, because let's face it, I LOVE RAIN. I like to watch it rain, and listen to it rain. I love how the entire world looks clean while it is raining, bright and new again. I do not have...

On this day...

twenty eight years ago, my Sunshine was born. I had anxiously awaited her arrival, and was thrilled to hold her for the first time. I was 24, and RJ was 23. We were young parents, but mature people by then. We married at 19 and never received help...

An update kind of thingy...

Where to start?  I had my gall bladder removed on Friday the 9th. I stayed doped up that entire weekend so that I may heal as quickly as possible. It was a dicey few days as I am not one to take pain meds. My percocet kept me from having pain, but not...

Touched me...

It would be great if this post was all about hot sex with my husband, but it is not. It isn't even about lukewarm sex with my husband. Sigh! Mostly I just wanted to share with you a little story from last night. I'm recovering from gall bladder...

Is it just me...

...or does the new iPhone 6 have way too many useless apps already downloaded? I don't use any of it, and I wish there were a way I could delete the apps that are useless to me. I only purchased the 16gb and it seems like I never have enough space. I...

Catastrophic thinking...

I live with a catastrophic thinker, and I believe we created a couple of them as well. My husband can take the smallest issue and turn it into Mt. Everest in a matter of minutes. If he had been on the Titanic, I can guran-damn-tee you that he would...

Hide Your Crazy...

Apparently I've been a little crazy lately, at least where T and JH have been concerned. My Sunshine (daughter) told me I need to chill. I guess my frustration has gotten the better of me. I usually try to remain as calm as possible. I think I just...

The Road to Hell...

is paved with good intentions. I do believe this is true. I always have the best intentions, and then somehow it unravels before me. For instance.   Last night on fb I read that T had her exploratory surgery on her uterus to see what the issue...

Updates...

I'm not sure who I am updating this for, but it helps me to clear my mind. If you are interested in the ramblings of a 52 year old mother, grandmother, and wife, stay tuned. Other wise, keep moving forward.   I called our lawyer on Friday, and...

Peeple....

There is a new app launching in November called Peeple. I read the description of the app last night, as it is stirring quite the controversy on the internet. This app allows people to rate other people. Say what? Exactly! You can create an account...

Feelings...

I sure wish I could close off all of these feelings I am having. If only. I need to stop contacting T and just let her do her thing. The thing is she is teasing us with pics of JH. She hasn't posted a pic of him on fb in months. She comes to town, and...

Dear Parents of Toddlers

Parenting is not what it is cracked up to be. With that little bundle of joy comes big responsibility. There are moments when you are going to wonder what you were thinking. There are moments when you are going to want to put your head under water in...

Overwhelmed with sorrow...

S saw the oncologist yesterday, and he set her up with hospice. She broke down and cried at the reality of it all. That makes me terribly sad. At 53 she faces death in a matter of weeks. He had hospice waiting on her at his office. Now that is...

Weekend updates...

I had a blessed weekend with my family. Sunshine came in on Friday, and we lounged, ate, had a marathon session of t.v., ate, and laughed...a lot. I colored her hair red again, and boy does that color suit her. She has the most beautiful blue eyes,...

the price we pay...

Last Wednesday night I went to my sister S's house to see her after she returned from her stay in the hospital. My sister D was there, and while I was visiting she lit a cigarette and smoked it in front of me. I kept silent. I didn't leave. Now I know...

well then...

When I was small I often wished I was an only child, because being in a large family can be such a challenge.  Rooting around for attention from our parents, and from each other. One upping each other at every turn. Being the nice one. Being the...

Dang It...

Well my sister is home from the hospital with a litany of doctor visits ahead. She looks better without all the wires and tubes, but she just looks tired. I am sure she is. They finally managed to get her pain under control with pills, and that is a...

Devastating news...

My sister has end stage lung cancer that has infiltrated her heart. There is no cure. There is only pain management. She is 53. She had breast cancer 15 years ago, and we think the radiation predisposed her to this lung cancer. She has smoked for most...

Oddly enough...

It's not easy being in a large family. All of the different personalities and viewpoints, and everybody pressing theirs in on you.  Everybody thinks they are right, even forming little cliques to support their ideas. I have rebelled from all of that...

Hurts...

The barometric pressure is killing my head. Sad too, because I love rainy days. Today though I feel as if my head will explode. I have just made it through the morning with the Littles. They are going to bed, and I am going to sit back and close my...

death...

Surprising how we as humans deal with death. Especially the death of a loved one. I lost my mother in 2008, when she was 66. I was 45 years old at the time. Seven long years later and I am 52. I have missed her every single day since she passed away....