I live in a small town where it is not unsual to run into people you have known since 1st grade. It is nice sometimes, and sometimes it is downright annoying. I try to be cognizant of other people's time, and not just hang onto them in a grocery store. Some people do not do that.
The other night after my walk in clinic visit to check on my ribs I ran to the store, the smallest store in our town. I went there to avoid Walmart, because I was in a hurry. I didn't have time to run into 4 different people, and give them 10 minutes of my time. Not even. I had to purchase 4 or 5 things, and get home to make dinner. Of course you already realize that did not happen.
First I ran into a woman we will call B. Now I know B when I see her, but I don't have a clear recollection of how we know each other. I know it is from school, but I can't remember if we graduated togethr, or if she is from early on in my life. I suppose you might say I have forgotten more than I remember. Now I hate that, but it is my reality. I probably have a touch of alzheimers, or I have just blocked out stressful periods of my life. I don't know.
Anywho, B comes blasting down the aisle where I am looking through the potato chips. Hi Shemelts, how have you been? We talked for 30 minutes. I kid you not. She told me her entire life story, including how she had attempted suicide twice, including the years she tried it. She told me every illness she has ever had, and what she currently has. She lost her brother last year, and I lost a sister. S, my sister was closer to B in school than I was. B told me how she felt when she read about S's death in the local paper. She then went on about how I had not aged at all, and how beautiful I was. Now people you do realize I do not see that at all. I know where my wrinkles are, and that my hair is graying. I am okay with myself, but the beautiful part I do not see. I do however thank her for her kind words, and then I joke that my wrinkles are stretched out by fat. We talked about weight gain, and loss. We talked about everything. It was kind of like a whirlwind of words.
When I started mentioning that I had to go because I needed to make dinner for the family, she started apologizing. She then asked if I would like to meet up with her and walk at our local park. I would love to, but I don't have the time. Too many constraints on my time. I hate to say "NO" to people, but it is important to put time into perspective, and not give in to people who demand it. It is important to be realistic, especially at my age. She was very kind, and I would have loved to chat some more, but I was in a hurry. We finally left each other, and I carried on.
Two aisles over a man stopped me and asked me if I was shemelts. Bleh! So another five minutes was spent talking to this complete stranger because he wanted to thank me for donating my time to taking, editing, and then placing the local high school's football game pics onto fb. I asked him who his son was so that I might highlight him during this Friday night's game. I got the information I needed, and told him it was nice to meet him, and then ran down the aisle.
I retrieved my items from the shelves, and hustled up to the check out stand. B rolled in right behind me. She started another conversation, bless her. We talked over the cashier ringing up the groceries. I asked B if we graduated together, and she told me we attended grade school together from 5th - 7th grade. I gave B a big hug after I paid for my groceries. Told her it was great to see her again, and then blasted out the door. I ran through the parking lot pushing my cart. Loaded my groceries into the JEEP, and jumped in. Whew!
Sometimes I feel like a celebrity. People stop me everywhere to either mention my daycare, my photography, or to catch up with them because we have a history together. I rarely have time for all of that. I'm living my life in the fast lane, and I don't have a clue how to slow it down. I have even had people stop me at Walmart and ask me if I have been on television, because I look like someone they have seen. I was told the other day it is Jenny McCarthy, poor Jenny. I've also been told I look like the mother on Gilmore Girls, but with blond hair. I don't see it. Maybe some day I will just show up at Walmart and hang out to meet and greet people. I'm sure that sounds conceited, but it is not intended to be. I'm considering just ordering things delivered to the house, because generally I don't feel up to the time it takes to get in and out of a store.
I am reminded that one shouldn't spill their guts in a store to other people. Just don't. People do not need to know that you attempted suicide. People don't need to know about your major health issues, unless they ask of course. I think B may just be lonely, and for that I am sorry. I wish I had more time for people like B. I have a friend K who is also lonely. If I had the time I would be spending it with her. Am I the only one who is living life in the super duper fast lane? Am I the only one who feels guilty because I can't give my time and attention to these people? I try to be kind and understanding when I meet up with people, and I know I shouldn't get annoyed. It is just that I am in a hurry.
I'm thinking at this point I need to just run away. Move far away to a place where I am unknown. A place where I could go out unrecognized to do my shopping. Maybe I am just too dramatic. Bleh!
Well it is time to get this day started. I have a small group of Littles today, and can we say Thank you Jesus? My ribs hurt a LOT. I don't feel up to a large group. I hope your day is a blessed one. Be in the moment, and be a blessing.
peace :D shemelts